I've been unconsciously thinking about marriage for almost 7 months. Now I'm conscious. I mean since last year at my birth month, I remember I was thinking about getting married and once in a while I get it again. I don't see it as a serious thing but now I'm thinking why does it always come on my mind. Why does marriage frequently visits my mind? Am I really thinking of getting married now? Why does my subconscious filled with marriage?!
I have just watched the movie The Vow that's why I'm bringing it up again. I'm not only acknowledging it I'm even writing a note about it so whatever happens in the next days, I have written everything thats on my mind.
"I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home."
"I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love.I vow to love you, and no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find a way back to each other."
Honestly, I have planned about my wedding day. Not the exact design of the wedding, but I have planned on what music to play. I have planned or I have a picture in mind unto how will my wedding look like. I love lights and that's why I wanted to put up so many lights that it would look like stars. And my music when the time comes that I have to walk on the aisle, it's been decided. It's kohtipi naerinda at Princess Hours OST. I'm ready to be wed off right? But the problem is my groom. I haven't been in love for almost 8 years.
I'm thinking.. Is it the reason why I have always been thinking about marriage? Is it because I want a man? But how come I'm thinking about marriage already of I'm not even meeting someone? It's strange. I'm really clueless unto why I'm always thinking and why do I actually want to get married as early as this.
I know marriage is not a simple thing. When you get married, it's not already only about you, it becomes the life of both of you united. Plus you might have kids and so you have to think more about them and not just yourself. And one more thing.. You get to live your whole life thinking if your marriage will last forever. How will I get my husband to love me forever? How will I let him stay on my side until the day we die?
The Vow has taught me so much tonight. When you love someone, even if it hurst you, you'll do anything for him. No matter how big the sacrifice is, you'll do it because that's the power of love. You give everything without any reassurance you'll get something in return. And that's what Leo did for Page. Is there still a guy that's exactly like him? I mean not literally physically look the way he is but the way he thinks, the way he loves.
It's heartbreaking, the moment he gave up. After all the pain and sacrifice, at the end he found his limit. And it's true, everybody has its limit. There's always a time when you think you can't bear a thing anymore and that If you continue you'll burst into pain. But fortunately, even a sleeping heart knows who is her partner. No matter what happens, the heart will always recognize who is her owner even if it takes a long time. The movie didn't end happily ever after just like others. It has a hanging ending and the viewers will decide.
I just hope to meet the owner of my heart and when that time comes, I want to do an imprint so whatever happens my heart will remember him and so he won't suffer like Leo. Whatever happens I'll try to let him be recognizable.
So what am I still doing? I need to find him now so I can wed myself off!!! Haha just kidding. I know the perfect time will come and still i want to enjoy couple years first before going steady.
Page fell for two weeks to Leo and Ieta see how long will I fall for my own Leo in the future ;)
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