deal OR no deal

Ill be starting my 3rd week in OR/DR/NICU and i have learned enough to be able to survive my next one and a half month to go.

Some of the staff there says I'm good. That Dra. Wouldn't get me from ER if she didn't see the potential in me. One of the staff said, I'm good at scrubbing. But I am not really sure if she was saying that for real or she only want to make me feel better since I'm missing my team at ER. One of my co trainees said, why am I not afraid to go on scrubbing. Well, am I not afraid in the first place?! Of course I'm afraid. I've been even trembling on my first scrub but since I started to commit myself on the training, I said to myself that I'll accept any scolding and shouting that I'll receive. My senior at ER said, it's better to ask all the time than doing it yourself and fail. I mean, it's good if you figure things out yourself but in my case most of the times, I have to admit that i don't know the procedure and ask for help. Whenever I enter the OR, I always prepare myself to get a beating. I always say that it's okay to be shouted at, you will be Shouted at so you need to prepare yourself to accept it. The probability of being complemented is low. So, I go in there and try my best everytime. Maybe my face doesn't show how terribly scares am I, that's why they see me very comfortable going in an operation.

Oh well, my first love is OR, I love watching surgeries so maybe that's the reason why I am comfortable there.

I'm actually sad before because it felt like the staff there are so far, I can't even reach them but by time I got to get their approval. One staff even said I'll pass the v.luna exam proudly. I was so shocked, because as doesn't know me. I was so happy. The she calls out my name na rin. Dr. Ldls, asked for my name and everytime she blurts them out, my heart jumps in happiness. Dra. Mates, also approves my existence. I am loved by all right? And I thank Lord for being so great to me all the timeS yes, that's right! The reason why I am confident all the time because He is the captain of my life. He rules my life. I know that He will never let me suffer and if I suffer, it's for my own good. ;)

So whatever trouble it is to come. Whatever challenge it is, I'm up to face them. I am so ready to fight and win for the right! Aja! Fighting!! Deal!